We are storytellers. We tell stories about our past, we tell stories about our present, and we tell stories about our future. A story has a beginning, a middle, and an end. From each iteration, the core of the story remains the same. The details bring the story alive through embellishment or ignorance. Joyful is the listener who is privy to the unveiling of a tale and witnesses the evolution of the saga.
Similar is the joy revealed with writing and publishing a book. Each step is its own adventure within the journey from concept to actualization. Each event expands one’s practice of a craft through its trials and tribulations. An author welcomes the twists and turns of the story and flows with the highs and lows along the pothole ridden path of writing a book. The surprise comes with the nonsense that remained hidden and surfaces during the publishing process.
A week before the proposed launch date, I find myself sitting in a hospital bed. The attending physician explained to me that they knew what was wrong, but the fix was tricky. There were too many variables, time, size and placement. I had failed to pass a stone the size of New Jersey. Normal kidney stones are 5mm. The one that was lodged in my ureter was a whooping 17mm. The size indicated that the stone had been in the making for five years. Three things had to happen before this little problem would go away.
1. Get the kidney functional by placing a stint against the stone to allow the accumulated crud to drain.
2. Get rid of the inflammation and infection.
3. Use ultrasound to demolish and pass the stone.
The metaphysical consideration of a kidney stone is that it is a lump of undissolved anger. What? You mean to say that taking the spiritual high road was only a detour and not a solution. What I perceived as acceptance was a lousy mask of hoarded resentment.
I began to release associated thoughtforms rather than hold these instruments of pain as medals of honor. I created a Pinterest page about kidney stones and recommendations for anger management. The message was clear, no more ignoring my feelings. I took the instructions in Gillian Anderson and Jennifer Nadel’s book “We,” Notice, Name, Feel, and Release to heart and kidneys.
While healing my kidney stone dilemma, my book “Heart Mind Belly, Points on the Map of Self Discovery,” offered me a message, “you did a good job. What you captured has been the story to this point. You have more work to do. All that you wrote is true, but the story continues. Yes, you did a good job, but there is more. Now is the time to notice, name, and feel your emotions. Do so with honesty and finish your next book with this knowledge.”
At least one more medical procedure between now and the book’s launch. One more procedure to break down the ties that hold me to the past and free me to step into a new way of being. I have dropped ten of the fifteen pounds of accumulated stress and anger of the past five year. Let’s see if purging the weight of circumstances follows through with coming to terms with my feelings.